The Conflict Theory

When I think of the word conflict these are the things that comes to mind; tension, aggression, physical fights, malice and hostility. Using the term conflict theory gives the impression that the family operates like a war zone. I do not like this theory because even though humans are focused on self interest we are also willing to compromise in order for everyone to benefit from the scarce resources available in the family. The reality is that in families there are limited resources and everyone’s goal cannot be met at the same time. It is the family’s responsibility to discuss all their goals and to make decisions about how to use the available resources they have to accomplish these goals.

 However, after learning about this theory I now understand that conflict is a way of initiating change in any situation. In my family conflicts are usually centered on the division of labour and finances.  Like I mentioned in a previous blog, my partner is lazy when it comes on to performing household chores, it is through conflict (quarrel) that changes has been made. I have seen improvement were equity is concerned in the allocation of duties.

Similarly when I was growing up in my household duties were distributed based on age and the ability to perform a specific duty. Even though my family strived to ensure fairness my older sister usually complain because she failed to understand that even though the duties were not distributed equally, it was considered fair because everyone has their role to play. For example I may be given the dishes to wash while she is responsible for tidying the house. I think this was done because she is four years older than I am. As children my sister and I used to fight a lot because she was of the opinion that I was favoured by our aunt. This theory helps me to understand that she was just competing for the scarce resource of attention and love. I cannot recall having any conflict relating to any other scarce resources.